Technology in the bedroom - Another brilliant blog by SensuousHappyHubby

Another brilliant blog by SensuousHappyHubby:

http://sensuoushappyhubby.blogspot.com/2013/01/technology-in-bedroom.html?spref=fb

..."Technology in the bedroom

- Do you check your e-mails, Twitter and Facebook as soon as you get into bed at night?

- is this the last thing you do before going to sleep?

- and/or is it the first thing you do in the morning?

- do you roll over and reach for your phone or tablet as soon as you finish making love?

- or, even worse, have you ever done this while making love!

If any of the above apply to you, then maybe you need to consider banning technology from your bedroom."...

 

..."A firm boundary for Christian marriage is not to allow a third party into the marriage bed. Adultery, emotional  affairs, threesomes and porn are all obvious examples of allowing a third party into your marriage, but to my mind Facebook, Twitter and other Social Media apps can become problematic too if they bring your friends into your bedroom and start to take precedence for your attention when you should be focusing on alone-time with your spouse. "...

 

Also see this blog by Bryan Brooks: http://bryansbrooks.com/2012/10/15/implementing-this-one-powerful-rule-will-transform-your-sacred-space/

and http://bryansbrooks.com/2012/10/15/implementing-this-one-powerful-rule-will-transform-your-sacred-space/

 

We are so glad you are reading our blog, but please, please don't read it in bed with your husband!

Why I love my husband...

The Happy Wives Club  have set up a great blog challenge - asking all marriage bloggers to write a list of why they love their husbands... This s such a great idea, so here is my list. I purposefully haven't looked at any of the other posts, because i wanted my answer to be honest and un-influenced.

1. My husband is a gift from God!
2. My husband helps me to be a much better person.
3. My husband loves me despite all my many faults - he always sees the best in me.
4. My husband is such a brilliant lover, he always manages to make me feel physically cherished.
5. My husband is the sexiest man alive.
6. My husband is a Godly leader
7. My husband is a brilliant father.
8. My husband is an excellent provider.
9. My husband knows my love languages and keeps my love tank filled.
10. My husband is an excellent kisser and keeps me turned on.

This list could go on for ever...



If you would like to do your own lists and post it in the comments, all our husbands would greatly appreciate it!

Some rambling

My husband, SensuousHappyHubby, has been blogging quite prolifically this last month, whilst Lisa and I have been hectically working and have had precious little time to blog. Anyway, my point is that it would be great if you could go to his blog page, read some of his posts –some of which might be quite contentious – and we would love any comments on our page or on his page.

As for Sensuous, we have a new newsletter available – have a look…

We would love it if any of our readers had any questions for us, which we could answer, you can either post a question on our blog page or if you would prefer to be anonymous , you are welcome to drop us an email at sensuous.kzn@gmail.com.

Wives: we need to initiate sex, just occasionally

I am just copying Happy Hubby's Blog as it is so well written and I could not say it any better if I tried!

Wives: why we need you to initiate sex, just occasionally

Here's the thing. We understand that we mostly need to initiate sex. We've read and learned from experience not to wait for you to be horny before making a move, and we understand that we have a physical need for regular sex that you do not. We also know that once we start making out, you will likely get into it, and become aroused, and end up really enjoying the experience. BUT, when we initiate ALL the time, there's always that little underlying niggle that satan plants in our brain, that maybe you don't really want us the way we want you, and that as much as you protest otherwise, you submit out of a sense of duty and not because you really want us and love making love with us.

That is why we need you to seduce us from time to time. There is absolutely nothing more affirming for me, than when C comes onto me and initiates love-making for the pure and simple reason that she is horny and aroused and needs to feel ME inside her, right now. I can't actually put into words just how good that makes me feel about myself, and how much it reassures me about our sexual relationship in general.

I think some of this reticence to show us that you desire sex may hark back to the old and outdated Victorian concept that a 'Lady' cannot be seen to enjoy sex too much. If so, then please pray for God to show you how to get past this. Or maybe that you are just unsure of how to go about initiating sex, and therefore feel uncomfortable doing do. Trust me, us men are simple creatures, especially when it comes to sex, so just be direct. You don't need to do the whole dress-up routine, or a strip show, or to have a pole installed in your boudoir (not that we would not appreciate any of these!). All that is needed is to whisper a simple "I want you, now" (you can shorten this to two short words if you are comfortable using more risqué language with your lover...) or even just roll across to our side of the bed, take our Kindle out of our hand, and kiss us in a way that communicates the same message. 

Try it this weekend. Then watch the next day, and the days after that, how your husband walks a little taller, and approaches the world a little more confidently, because he is a man, and he is desired.

 

 

--Thanks for that bit of great advice Happy Hubby :)

SensuousHappyHubby: Ten confessions of a sex positive couple

SensuousHappyHubby: Ten confessions of a sex positive couple: There have been a number of posts on the various Christian marriage blogs recently from 'sex-positive' husbands and 'sex-positive' wives, so...

Promises, promises...

My husband sent me this quote last week:

“A wise wife teases and then pleases, while a foolish wife teases but does not follow through.”

He asked me what I thought about it. Well… I said that it wasn’t as simple as that. He disagreed!

This is where my husband and I have had the most conflict in the bedroom. Hubby tells me that some wives don’t realise the effect that “promising” a sexual encounter later on has on a man.

I told him that it isn’t necessarily a promise, it might just be a suggestion at a moment in time and then, unfortunately, life intervenes. Screaming children, work going bananas, and of course by the end of a hectic day, a headache!

He says that men interpret a maybe as a promise and their brain and body react on it, and then however unfair the reaction is, it is how they react. It’s a hormonal thing.

A classic example: I get up in the morning feeling great after a good night sleep, have an invigorating shower and then decide to put on some of my lacy, sexy underwear and stay-ups. Hubby of course gets to watch as he always does in the morning and comments on the sexy lingerie. I smile at him and say, “maybe you’ll get lucky and get to take it off later”. He goes off to work and the whole day he is thinking “Woo-hoo, I’m gonna get lucky tonight!”

Then comes the mad rush of getting the kids up and ready for school, lifting and then a morning in front of the computer for work, followed by fetching kids from school, driving them to their various extra mural activities and getting them home, prepping dinner before a quick gym session. Dinner and bath and bed routine which can go on a couple of hours, and then, ahhh, I get to sit down for the first time in many hours. Hubby then gives me his “come hither look”. Oh all right, I’m finished, but I know that he is rearing to go. We head up stairs, get into bed and start cuddling, kissing and stroking each other. At this point my son walks into the room saying he doesn’t feel well, he walks to the bed and before we can react he vomits all over the bed. That’s the end of that moment for me! I now have to comfort my son, clean up the mess and then get him settled and to sleep again. I go back to the bedroom, and to hubby’s credit , he has changed the bedding and sprayed some room spray and he’s lying on the bed looking expectant.

In this scenario, I would normally tell him that there is absolutely no way he is getting any more action tonight. He would be very disappointed and accept the “no” with a big sulk.

This example actually did happen to us and I did give him the big NO. But hubby is trying to explain that he was physiologically ready for action and it is very difficult to turn off the physical and hormonal response once he is turned on.

The only thing I can say is that I will certainly take that into account next time, but I’m not sure I will be able to always tease and then please. It is certainly something I strive to do, but sometimes life just gets too much for me!

What are you? A wise or a foolish woman?

Is it "ok" to use "sex toys" in marriage?

This is a question we get asked all the time, so we have put together a "policy document" for our website. It is the following:



Our purpose is to encourage Godly Intimacy in Marriage.

Our approach is a wholesome one, covering all facets of Godly Intimate Marriages. We do this through our Marriage Enrichment Seminars for Women, our informative Talk on Intimacy in marriage, counselling women in the area of Marriage and intimacy and our Online Intimacy Boutique.

Our online Boutique offers women’s Intimacy aids (sex toys), candles, massage oils to encourage and enhance Intimacy between a Husband and a Wife.

We are often asked why we would even consider having these aids on our site as Christians. We believe, as mentioned in one of our favourite books on Christian Intimacy, “Intimate Issues” written by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus, that each couple is different, each husband and wife is unique.

A Husband and a wife should examine their hearts and consider their motives about any sexual practise they are as considering.

·         Is it prohibited in Scripture?

·         Is it beneficial?

·         Does it involve anyone else?

When looking at sexual aids, which can enhance Intimacy, there is no scriptural reference that would prohibit the use of such aids. If it is used exclusively and privately to enhance the couples lovemaking, and they both feel comfortable to use them, then we believe it’s permitted.

However, if it is used solely by either the wife of Husband to pleasure oneself while “thinking” and “lusting” about another or others (not including their spouse), then this is fornication. Also, if the use for these aids begins to replace real intimacy between husband and wife then we would consider this a problem.