Tuesday, 1 May 2012

How do we build a strong, loving and passionate marriage? Part 5 - Tolerance

Ephesians 4:2 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love.
“Tolerance in a marriage is something that many people experience and learn about the longer that they are married to their spouse.

Tolerance does not mean that you constantly have to "put up" with your spouse; it means that there are times when you need to be patient and choose not to argue when it is not necessary. There are times when it is good to voice your opinions, but when it comes to the trivial things, sometimes it is just not worth it. It's called choosing your battles, and some things are just easier to leave alone, rather than arguing about it.
When you are married there will be many times when you do not understand your spouse and may even become frustrated with them. This is not something to worry about or inspire doubtful feelings from this are completely natural. When you are living in such close quarters with another person this is something that is bound to happen. When this type of situation occurs there are many different ways to handle it. You can act out your feelings and tell your spouse exactly how you feel, but what you are feeling at that moment is anger, a feeling that will pass. When you experience anger out of frustration this is because you are not exercising enough patients with the situations around you. You should not have to tolerate your spouse but it is important to remember that we all make mistakes and we all have our good and bad days. If you do not have this type of understanding, than marriage is not the right situation for you to be in. When something goes wrong in your relationship or there was an unexpected turn of events this is when your patience is most needed. Take advantage of these situations as opportunities and embrace them.
Tolerance and patience should be practiced when you are in a marriage. No matter how much you love your spouse there will always be times when your patience may be tested and your character as well.”From : (How to Practice Tolerance in Your Marriage, by Gillian Markson   http://marriage.families.com/blog/how-to-practice-tolerance-in-your-marriage)
Remember that this is not one-sided. Just as there are lots of little things that bug you about your husband, so are there plenty of things that bug him about you! I’m sure you’d like him to tolerate some of your little bad habits, exercise patience and forgive the small transgressions, so you should do the same. This is Grace.
“What makes a Christian marriage work is to forgive from our hearts, just as Jesus forgave us. He did so by taking our sins upon himself. For us, forgiving others means we're willing to live with the consequences of our spouse's sins.”
From: (Why Forgive? It's more about you than you think. By Neil T. Anderson http://www.kyria.com/topics/marriagefamily/marriage/helphealing/2.38.html)

A marriage is a place where we need implement tolerance, grace and forgiveness in great measures. The greatest challenge is to understand that we can’t change our spouses no matter how well our intensions are. Stop trying to “fix” your partner, rather make positive changes within yourself. The way you choose to respond and react will influence your spouse.

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