How do we build a strong, loving and passionate marriage? Part 3 - Time and investment

Time and investment

Life is fast and furious. It’s imperative that couples prioritise their marriages.  We can so easily place our children or careers ahead of the marriage.

If couples gave their investments and bank accounts the same attention as their marriages, many would end up bankrupt. The best investment you can give your children is investing in your marriage.

Take “time out” for date nights, walks, long bubble baths or whatever takes your fancy. Couples need to understand, eighteen plus years is a long time to wait for their children to grow up.  It is imperative to get a support system going, where there are special people in your life who you can leave your children with in order to get some time away. Whether it is your parents, in-laws, siblings, good friends, or even a nanny or sitter you can rely on. And if you are blessed to get time away together, cherish it, and also remember to pay it forward by offering to close friends or family members to look after their children, so they can also invest in their marriages.

How do we build a strong, loving and passionate marriage? Part 2 - Communication

How we communicate in marriage is crucial. It’s no great surprise that men and women communicate differently. The great example; “I have nothing to wear” can mean two completely different things, depending on if you are a man or a woman. For a woman, this statement can mean; I need to lose some weight, nothing fits me, my clothes are out of date, I need a new wardrobe. For a man this statement simply means; I have no clean clothes!

Communication goes even further. Not only do we communicate differently but we also communicate love differently. This is best highlighted in Gary Chapman’s bestseller “The Five Love Languages”. We all have a primary Love language in which we show love and how we need to be loved. The love languages are identified as; Affirmation, Acts of service, Quality Time, Gifts and Physical touch. Learn and understand your spouse’s primary love language so you can be effective in communicating love to them.
http://www.sensuous.co.za/pL00026/The-5-Love-Languages---Gary-Chapman.aspx

An example of communicating in “different Languages” is when I felt very emotionally distant from my husband. I need quality time and he was working really hard at the time, but he was buying me expensive gifts, such as perfume and jewellery.  He was showing love to me in the way he knows how – giving gifts, but I wasn’t feeling it. I was constantly nagging him about not spending time with me and he couldn’t understand my unhappiness. Then we read the 5 Love Languages, and had the AHA moment! I realised he did really love me! He realised he needed to stop working so hard for money to buy me gifts and spend more time with me. I now know that little tokens such as cards etc. mean a whole lot to him. So now we are able to communicate our love to each other in our spouse’s language as well as understanding that they sometimes communicate their love in their own love language.

Think of ways you communicate your love with your spouse and whether you are communicating in his language or not…

 

A great article  - debate on lust - is it good or bad?

http://hotholyhumorous.blogspot.com/2012/03/lust-pigpen-or-feast.html
Good post, breaking down lust within the biblical context.

How do we build a strong, loving and passionate marriage?

How do we build a strong, loving and passionate marriage?

In the next few posts, we will be discussing a few ideas we have about keeping our marriages alive.

Today we are going to talk about attitude.
Attitude is the most vital attribute in any marriage. Your attitude will determine whether you have a great marriage or not. A good attitude says; I understand it’s not just “Me” but always “We”. A healthy attitude understands it’s never a 50/50 split down the middle; it’s a full 100% commitment. A positive attitude will always influence growth in the relationship.

It is amazing how if we make the decision to have a good attitude about a certain situation, our perception of that situation always is better. But if we stick to our usual negative, defeatist attitude, then our perception and then following that, our experience of that situation will invariably be negative.

Attitude is about choice! We can choose to have a good attitude about our marriage and the situations in our marriage and therefore have a good marriage, or... not!

Wow, it is so cool to see people using their amazing gifts as acts of worship to God. Have a look at the following video and let us know what you think about it.

I find it very inspiring, especially after driving up to Mtunzini last night to do our talk to 180 ladies of all ages. We were so well received and this really made us feel like we are working to God's calling and purpose.